The Secret Sauce to Confidence



Throughout my years working in the beauty industry I've noticed that a lot of people don't feel confident about themselves. And real talk? It's normal!


Wait! What?


Insert confused face.


Yeah, really.


We mistakenly think that confident people, never doubt or have any negative thoughts or fears and the truth is that they do! And often!


The difference is that they are able to feel the fear, have the doubts and have the negative thoughts but they still decide to do the thing, whatever that may be to them.


Everyday they re-decide and recommit to their desires.


Yes, everyday. Everyday. Let it sink.


Need evidence?


The Evidence


Look at someone like Elon Musk. He has been on the verge - several - times of losing everything. Yet he continues each and everyday to go after his mission.


Oprah has shared that while creating the OWN network, she would wake up sweating, panicking, short of breath. She decided to move forward and OWN has become a successful network.


I personally know a coach, Melanie Ann Layer who was bankrupt, sleeping in her Honda Civic and now makes millions in a week!


Yes. You read that right. Millions in a week as a coach! From charging $100 a session while sleeping in her Honda Civic, to making millions in a week.


What's the common theme between these people?


They decided to move forward. Even when things weren't working out, they continued to decide and move forward. Even when they didn't feel confident, they decided to continue.


And this my friends, is the power of decision.

Why we struggle



This is for my headsy friends, like me, who need to understand at a scientific and mental level.


Our brains are amazing. They are designed to ensure our safety, to prioritize our survival above all things. While this is amazing, it can unfortunately be a huge obstacle when trying to achieve something.


Once we try something new our brain can be easily triggered into survival mode. Why?


Because anything new is unknown and that subconsciously means scary!


And Here is where the crazy stuff begins. The doubts, the fears, Imposter Syndrome, the procrastination, perfectionism, just to name a few of them.


Although damaging, these things do in a twisted way protect us from suffering.



The Breakdown


The thing about pain is that whether it is perceived or actual pain, our brains protection mechanisms are activated.


Sadness, disappointment, failure are all perceived by our mind as pain. Psychological pain and therefore it will stop us even if it's through self-sabotage.


This is quite unfortunate but understandable. To our brains pain is pain whether physical or psychological. And thus it will keep us from it even at the expense of our happiness.


Newsflash: Your brain doesn't care if you are happy, it only cares if you are alive.


Yeah, I know, it sucks.


The Secret Sauce

So now that we know all of this on a mental level, here comes the hard part: Knowing it at an energetic level which is what distinguishes confident people.


So what's the difference?


When you know things in your head, you have information. And information is equal to circumstantial power. When you know it in your body, you have personal power and mastery.


You recruit your body, you engage your nervous system in an empowering way. You see, your emotions influence your behavior and when you develop the ability to master them, you can channel them in your favor.


Now that is where the magic happens. The secret sauce.