Getting Comfortable with Discomfort
(Spanish version below)
The unknown can always be unsettling because it tends to trigger our most primal instinct: survival. Even if we don't love what is familiar at the moment, we have a tendency to not take action because after all it is familiar. No surprises. Nothing new. We know what to expect.
However growth and success are born from our ability to sit with discomfort knowing that even though we are feeling this way, it will work out in our favor if we are capable of responding instead of reacting.
Responding vs Reaction
“You can’t control the world, but when you control your thoughts, you bring order.” – Bernie Siegel
Responding and reaction are two different things. In order to master your mind, your control center, it's important to know the difference.
What is the difference between responding and reacting?
Responding puts you at CAUSE. It means that YOU can have a direct influence on the outcome because your response is born from your internal conditions. Your internal response is something you have 100% control over. The perception is " How is this is happening FOR me."
Response gives us the opportunity to adjust, reflect, and plan - it is more strategic. Cultivating the ability to respond is greatly empowering and protects the things we value most.
Reaction puts you at EFFECT. This means that external circumstances determine the outcome and is generally a product of impulse without consideration of possible consequences. The perception is: "Why is this happening to me."
This impulsive tendency puts us in a disempowered position. We react and then - have to deal with the consequences which can sometimes be extremely damaging. We can lose opportunities, relationships and other things we value.
“Growth can be painful, change can be painful but nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.” Charles H. Spurgeon
As humans we have the ability to access our brains higher functions. One of these is: Meta-cognition.
Meta-cognition is our ability to have critical awareness around our thinking and learning. We have the ability to self-correct and self-assess.
Simply put, we can teach our brain. We can teach ourselves!
How empowering is that! We don't have to stay stuck living a life that isn't aligned with what we truly desire.
Intentionally leaning into growth leads to allows us to tap into all of the resources available to help us achieve what we desire.
Growth Leads to Confidence
Contrary to popular belief, you create confidence by DOING THE THING.
How many times have we let the lack of confidence stop us from achieving our dreams? "I'll do it when I feel more confident about myself," - An all-or-nothing Thinking Trap (there are 14 Thinking Traps which I cover in the Journey to Self-Love Course) - and what happens? You can become trapped in the "waiting for" and never move forward.
Being intentional about our growth results in gaining confidence. Successful people are intentional people.
They know what they want and even if they don't know HOW they will do it, they welcome the discomfort of growth. They know that on the other side of their comfort zone, lies what they seek.
“Plant seeds of expectation in your mind; cultivate thoughts that anticipate achievement. Believe in yourself as being capable of overcoming all obstacles and weaknesses.”
– Norman Vincent Peale
Here are a few questions/prompts I use to expand outside of my comfort zone and reap the benefits of growth.
1 - How can I become more intentional in my daily life? Journal your intentions for your day every morning. (Ex. I intend to connect with 3 potential clients, etc)
2 - What actions can I take today that will bring me closer to my goals/desires?
3 - If fear wasn't an obstacle, what would I be doing? How can I make this process easier for myself? (Ex. take deep breaths, look for evidence of people who have done similar things)
4 - Make it a daily practice to do something new or different each day. Start off with small things such as trying a different route, buying in a different store.